Cotolo Chronicles

Tom Jones, a bastard child, was raised as the son of an English gentleman. Tom was a likeable, devil-may-care chap growing into adulthood. He had a love for the beautiful Sophie Western but no strength to resist any other attractive lady. So, Tom became a singer and stuffed a sock with a hard vegetable into his pants so that anyone who listened to him would assume Tom had a humungous shlong.

That is a hybrid biography of Thomas Jones Woodward, who celebrates his birthday today, making it to 66 on June 7. The famous pop singer is often confused with the famous British character played by Albert Finney in the movie that made eating dinner erotic. Filthy rich but still unaware of what might be new with the pussycat, Sir Tom Jones, the singer, continues to tour furiously. It was recently discovered that his schlong is larger than any known vegetable that fits in a sock. That is unusual.