Cotolo Chronicles

On the first December show we are proud to welcome a new affiliate, Internet Hit Radio. Go on over and register (free) so you can take part in special activities there. It’s another brave-and-bold Internet outpost for music and talk.

So it is just one of the great things happening in December (stand by for more affiliate announcements). Meanwhile, look at this month’s celebration lineup.

Dec. 1 is when Internet Hit Radio joins the Cotolo Chronicles network

Dec. 3 is National Roof-Over-Your-Head Day
It used to be an international holiday, as you recall, but the roof has become a controversial religious structure and factions from different sects have fought and died to be sure that no one is offended if they are “roofless.”

Dec. 8 is when Mary Lee Gowland is on Cotolo Chronicles
Author Mary Lee Gowland is part of the news, information and conversation on the show.

Dec. 4 is Wear Brown Shoes Day
This holiday dates back to the early 1900s when a boy named Buster Brown was arrested for living in a shoe intimately with his dog, Tide. His courage has not been forgotten.

Dec. 10 is Festival For The Souls Of Dead Whales
And make no mistake about it, the deaths of whales in oceans everywhere is increasing at an alarming rate. The rate of alarming rates in the world is also on the increase, but that is a topic for another holiday all together.

Dec. 12 is National Ding-A-Ling Day
Ding A. Ling (Ting Ling) [real name Jiang Bingzhi,1904-1986]. Born in Linli, Hunan province, she was strongly influenced in her teenage years by her mother's anti-traditionalist views and the ideals of the May Fourth Movement. Her middle name, by the way, was Aeng.

Dec. 16 is National Chocolate Covered Anything Day
There is no conservative translation for “anything.”

Dec. 18 is National Roast Suckling Pig Day
The fine art of cooking a suckling pig is an ancient art and, as with all ancient arts, it could mean food poisoning. So be careful because pig is pork and “the other white meat” can be dangerous.

Dec. 26 is National Whiners Day
Red or white, sweet or dry, there is no better day to raise your glass and make a homemade batch for friends and families.

Dec. 29 is Remember Those Passed This Year Day
The annual roll call of celebrated and not-so celebrated persons that have left us in 2005 is the feature on this evening's program.

Dec. 30 is Festival Of Enormous Changes At The Last Minute Day
Unfortunately, more suicides are recorded on this day than any other day of the year, with the exception of Tony Orlando's birthday.

All this talk about podcasts, mp3 players and the death of CDs makes us all have to look at history. I have compiled a timeline. Future posts will discuss more on the subject.

The Evolution of music players

1877 – Thomas Edison invents the phonograph while experimenting with strange uses for a needle.
1880 – Nikolai Tesla invents radio, motivated by a dream to have the first talk show, which he aims to call “Talking With Tesla.”
1887 – Emile Berliner patents gramophone, using flat zinc discs he has had in his garage for a decade.
1906 – The first radio program of voice and music is broadcast. Reginald Fessenden broadcasts the program using a continuous wave of electromagnetic energy from Brant Rock on Massachusetts's Cape Cod. Fessenden is arrested for not changing his last name to something catchy.
1929 – Frequency Modulation (FM) radio is introduced. Broadcasters immediately discover that using a loud voice on FM causes cancer.
1934 – Joseph Begun builds the first tape recorder for broadcasting but cannot find a Radio Shack to get replacement parts.
1948 – Columbia Records introduces the long-playing (LP) record, which spins at 33 1/3 revolutions per minute (RPM).
1949 – RCA introduces 45 RPM records, which spin at 45 revolutions per minute, thinking that manufacturing records is a race based on speedy revolutions.
1950 – Four South American countries have speedy revolutions, with governments turning over in three hours. The countries celebrate by playing 45 RPMs on stolen U.S.-manufactured phonographs.
1965 – Eight-track magnetic tape is introduced. Unfortunately it is introduced to five men in the garment industry who don’t know what to do with it.
1969 – The Internet is created and four to five people use it regularly. They exchange information and knowledge and think about new ways to transport pornography.
1979 – The Sony Walkman, a cassette player, is introduced and will eventually sell 150 million units, even though Kenny Rogers material is available on cassette.
1983 – Sony and Phillips introduce compact disc (CD) technology. They feel, at first, it is smaller and lighter than records and can double as table coasters.
1986 – Sony develops MiniDisc technology, six years prior to its commercial launch in 1992. Sony feels the MiniDisc is smaller and lighter than CDs and can double as table coasters.
1989 – The Fraunhofer Institute in Germany patents the MP3 format. Sony feels it is useless because you cannot hold an MP3 file in your hands and it cannot double for anything.
1992 – Phillips introduces the Digital Compact Cassette (DCC). Sony and Phillips hope to monopolize sound products and put all table coaster manufacturers out of business.
1998 – The first MP3 players are introduced by Saehan. In Korea, their MPMan player goes on sale and is so well-received it is credited with creating the expression on the face of Kim Jong-il.

It was a plentiful feast on Thanksgiving and a fine program that night. However, the program recorder misfired, leaving no archive for Nov. 24. Unless you recorded the program on your own, this one is history, kaput, banished to bongoland.

We apologize to affiliates and podcast fans, not that we think the Earth's axis is in peril of losing its tender balance due to our absence. You know it ain't that tender a balance anyways . However, be with us on Dec. 1, live or for affiliate rebroadcasts, as we have met the problem head on and expect it will not affect us, you or the axis next time.

Affiliates may be playing a rerun this weekend or just giving the show's slot a rest. It's their call. Whatever, we look forward to being there for you fresh and fiery on Dec. 1.

And, we will be back here with updates on Monday.

And there you have it. Now your Thanksgiving can be filled with food-filled delight that is heightened by a side dish of knowledge, which is always good for digestion purposes, even though most of the time it doesn't stay with you for long.

Please be with us for news, information, conversation and thanksation [sic] on the network presentation at 9 p.m. EST, tonight with Larry Michelich returning to the fray and some surprises. Make us your nightcap.

We now present the next-to-last entry for the thankful week of 2005. So here is our final look at some Thanksgiving myths. On the Nov. 24 program we talk thanks, with our former A-man Charlie, Splash Michelich contributing. Come digest with us.

So two more myths …
In America today, families eat what the Pilgrims ate in the first Thanksgiving feasts. False.

The foods on the tables at the first harvest feasts were not much of what you and I call traditional. The colonists ate venison and wild fowl, deer, ham, fish, lobster, seal, swans, puddings and breads. These were not served in courses, either. All foods were placed on the large, long tables and people filled their plates with what they wanted. Sometimes they even went for what they didn’t want. And, there were no forks. They would spoon their food or use their fingers.

And …
The Pilgrims ate turkey on the main day of celebration. False.

The Pilgrims did not eat turkey during harvest feasts. How did America get the idea of a turkey meal for Thanksgiving? It was the Victorians’ Thanksgiving—they made Thanksgiving a national holiday in 1863—that introduced turkey as the dinner's centerpiece. Abe Lincoln issued two Presidential Thanksgiving proclamations that year; one in August, a second in November. The August celebration grew unpopular because few people had the energy to do anything during 1863's record-hot summer, no less give thanks. After Lincoln was shot in the head, only to die the next day of a decimated brain, Congress made November the official month of the holiday.

We continue with the thankful week of 2005. From now until Thursday, we will be looking at some Thanksgiving myths, realizing that we should be thankful for the legends that lie to us through the generations.

For instance …
The Indians of the 1600s were healthy. False.

From 1616-1619 a strange disease, probably carried by the Pilgrims, killed 90 percent of the Indian population. When the Plimouth Colonie [sic] was founded in 1620, there were hardly any Indians and the founders suffered from poor spelling. The disease all but wiped out the tribes. It took five decades for the Indians to regenerate and 16 years for the founders to correct the spelling of the settlement.

And …
The Pilgrims coined the holiday’s name, Thanksgiving. False.

The word "Thanksgiving" was not applied to any feasts during the time of the Pilgrims. A 1636 law recorded in Plymouth County Records described "…solemn days of humiliation by fastings … and also for thanks giving as occasion shall be offered.” A "thanksgiving" was a religious end to a fasting period and refers to a book, W.D.D. Love's Fast and Thanksgiving Days In New England (1896), later re-titled, Sometimes You Get So Hungry You Heave.

Of course, 30 some-odd years ago today, President Kennedy was assassinated in Texas. Few were thankful for that.

Welcome to the thankful week of 2005. And now for something frightening.

If you wish to check your Bible for references, please do and report to me chapter and verse. It must be in the Book of Revelation that this (click here) a sign of the ending of our world.

Now, back to the art of thanking. At this blog until Thursday, we will be looking at some Thanksgiving myths, realizing that we should be thankful for all the lies told to us about this cherished holiday.

For instance … The 1620 Plymouth Pilgrims’ Thanksgiving was the first in America. False.

In 1620, the Indians had been in North America for some 40,000 years, no doubt celebrating harvest before 1620. Some noodnick historians like to think that until the Pilgrims decided to take vegetables off of stalks and vines that the Indians had no ideas about what to do with all that food and many died of starvation.

Also, Europeans visited in North America well before 1526, no less 1620. There was a Spanish settlement in South Carolina in 1526, including African slaves in the population. The Spanish left but the Africans remained and eventually the banjo was invented. The longest continuous settlement in North America after the Indians, then, is not one of white people, it is African American. More tomorrow ...

A news flash … Pamela Duncan, an actress who starred in the cult classic Attack of the Crab Monsters, has died at s 73. For a list and information on celebrities and near-celebrities’ deaths in 2005, tune into our Dec. 29 program.

First, thanks to Barry Meadow for a great conversation and a bowl fulla debunking. He makes skepticism sound fun. Now, excuse me while I load my revolver. But seriously, and I mean that from the bottom of my cockles, let’s try to all be friends for a bit.

Time’s up and now we get back to rolling up the year. December is coming and the grass in the fields is already frozen at dawn here in the east. But while November is still here, be a sport and follow through on a thing or two.

Thing one. An email to CotoloChronicles@mailbomb.com that answers:

What is your sex? Where do you live? Name two or so major interests you pursue. What do you do for a living? How often do you listen to our show?

Thing two. Check out Mr. Meadow’s book, Blackjack Autumn: A True Tale of Life, Death, and Splitting Tens in Winnemucca.

Thing three. Vote for our podcast here.

Thing four… thing four … Well, I guess for now there are only three things. More things are bound to surface and you can be sure that we will keep you posted here, at the blog that changes more times than most of the 14-million-plus blogs out there. Change is important. Change is unstoppable. And change, when giving the cashier more than the cost of the item, is required.

Some of the following items are false, no matter what you believe. Yes, it is true that there are things many of us have come to know as true that are false. Take this test and see if you are in need of a debunking or not. Email your answers to CotoloChronicles@mailbomb.com … and then get ready for a debunking on our Nov. 17 program with special guest debunker, Barry Meadow.

Check out Mr. Meadow’s book, Blackjack Autumn: A True Tale of Life, Death, and Splitting Tens in Winnemucca.

True or false?

The nursery rhyme Ring Around the Rosie is a coded reference to the Black Plague.

President John Kennedy received the Pulitzer Prize for his book, Profiles in Courage.

The name of the make-believe land featured in L. Frank Baum's series of Oz books was taken from a file cabinet drawer labeled O - Z.

Dr. Seuss wrote Green Eggs and Ham after being challenged by his editor to produce a book using fewer than fifty different words.

Casinos pump extra oxygen onto the gaming floors during the early-morning hours to keep tired patrons from heading off to bed.

Coca-Cola used to contain cocaine.

Richard Castellano was paid more for his role in the movie, The Godfather, than Marlon Brando was paid for his role.

Puff, the Magic Dragon is a song about marijuana.

Whatever is going on here is way beyond my comprehension. I am just a voice in the wilderness and I don’t see no more trees growing around me. So, suffice it to say that never, albeit sometimes, you and I are left wordless, speechless and useless, with only one another to rely upon.

So it is that we enter another week in this crazy, mixed up world (except for Lola) and drive onward into the present. Together, if not alone, as our forefathers said, even though there were more than four, our presence on this planet should amount to something. I don’t know about you but I can’t speak for anyone else except me and even that is a problem now and then, here and there … and everywhere.

My point is that you don’t know, you just think you do and I have a feeling, but it isn’t real and everything in between is probably the truth. It is up to you to find it. Not me, I give up.

Thanks for the emails, keep them coming. Have a great weekend.

Good new week to you all. As we asked on our most recent program, we need your help.

When you have a chance, just a few minutes, please answer the following questions and email us at CotoloChronicles@mailbomb.com … We are making a bold-and-sweeping attempt to find out some common things about our audience. We thought of making a strong-and-solid attempt, but settled on a bold-and-sweeping attempt for obvious reasons.

Here are the questions we need you to answer in your email to us. Since you know yourself better than anyone, this should take no time at all for you to do and we thank you in advance.

What is your age?
What is your sex?
Where do you live?
Name two or so major interests you pursue.
What do you do for a living?
How often do you listen to our show?

There, you see? It is less painful than an inoculation. In the long run, as much as we love short runs, this information (totally private) will help us make our show better for you, the individual. Please help us out, then and thank you again, in advance.

Unseasonable climate in the East for early November. Temperatures will be in the 70s, making it an odd autumn weekend. Everyone is calling it an Indian summer. But do they really know what that means and where it originated?

The first reference that can be found for the term “Indian Summer” is in a book called A Snow Storm As It Affects The American Farmer, by a French-American farmer named J. H. St. John de Crèvecoeur. The book publisher thought the farmer’s name to be too long, too French and feminine, so he changed it to Sparky Nebbs and published the book in the late 1700s.

In the book, Sparky, who abhorred his pseudonym, wrote that a “voluminous coat of snow … is often preceded by a short interval of smoke and mildness, called the 'Indian Summer.'” But Sparky never mentioned who called it that. People were wary to believe The Spark Man (as his American fans came to know him) because no one had ever called a short interval of smoke and mildness an Indian Summer.

There are older names for a short interval of smoke and mildness. In Britain, people called a short interval of smoke and mildness St. Luke’s summer, St. Martin’s summer or All-Halloween summer, never using an upper-case letter for the word “summer,” as did Senior Sparky (what his Mexican fans called him).

Whatever the reason, this name for a short interval of smoke and mildness has been the standard term since it became official by an act of Congress in 1815, though some historians swear it was 1819 and others feel it was well after that, in 1905. At that juncture, however, the term "smoke" was edited from the act, because all members of Congress agreed that the interval rarely produced smoke, simply mildness.

Now you know, so have a happy Indian Summer weekend.

Let’s take a look at some of the celebratory days of November as we slide quickly through the end of 2005.

Nov. 2 is Plan Your Epitaph Day
At one time, this was Burl Ives’ busiest personal-appearance day. With Burl dead, we are left with the sound advice that no one else can write our epitaph, so start working on it now. Better late than never, so to speak.

Nov. 3 is a Cotolo Chronicles day
Some great topics are covered on the first of four Thursday shows this month. No guest is scheduled, but the menu is filled with news, information and insubordination that you won’t learn about anywhere in cyberspace or podworld.

Nov. 6 is Saxophone Day and Marooned Without A Compass Day
The first one is easy, we celebrate saxophones. The second one is more complex since there are also celebrations for being marooned with a compass, without a soccer ball, with a gal who speaks another language and loves sarongs and with a politically incorrect character named after a day of the week. Phew. Just blow your horn and forget it.

Nov. 10 is a Cotolo Chronicles day
A guest pending, it is another episode of what one reviewer said, “really is the best out there.”

Nov. 12 is National Pizza With The Works Except Anchovies Day
Here, there is much interpretation about what “The Works” might be and why anchovies never became part of them. Violence can erupt again, as it does every year, as members of both camps clash in parades and Pizza Huts across the country.

Nov. 17 is a Cotolo Chronicles day
Maybe everything you hold to be true is a lie? Ever think of that? We talk with Barry Meadow, a man who takes skepticism to a high level of consciousness and makes debunking a high art.

Nov. 19 is Have A Bad Day Day
A portion of the American people, regardless of their positive public demeanor and religious fervor, is sick of denying the days that just suck. Here is a chance for them to sing and dance about being down.

Nov. 24 is Thanksgiving Day and a Cotolo Chronicles day
Eat, drink and be merry, for at 9 p.m. EST, you will get more than you can digest

Nov. 30 is Stay At Home Because You're Well Day
The practice of calling in well is not common in the U.S. In many other countries, however, it is accepted and people often use being well as an excuse not to go to work on a specific day. These countries have an understanding of human nature not yet reached in America, where people are well but say they aren’t in order not to go to work. This holiday was created to change the consciousness of American labor so that the forces of management can understand that a well person deserves a sick day now and then, especially since when a person is actually sick, he or she has a hard time enjoying the time off.

P.S.> There is a prize for anyone who can identify the author of the title of today's blog. If you think you know, email me at CotoloChronicles@mailbomb.com and include your address in case you are correct. We will send you a prize. Don't drool, it ain't much, but it is free.

Our Oct. 31 post’s response comes from Ross Karchner. He knows why there is prosaic gibberish on spam ads for watches and other products.

“The random junk at the bottom of spam,” he says, “is meant to fool spam-detection software. Even if it isn't coherent [to the reader], it might be enough to trick a computer program into thinking it is a real message and not just an advertisement.”

Thanks, Ross. Check out his blog here.

Welcome to November. There are four Thursdays this month, so there are four C-Chronicles this month. Guests are pending and you know how mysterious a pending guest can be. So return here daily to look for announcements about guests on these four shows.

Also, if you want to do some downloading of past shows, start now because it is almost the end of the year and that means clearing the decks of our 2005 shows. Not 2,005 shows, but the shows from the year 2005. Click here to look through the library.

And click here to add your November vote for C-Chronicles at Podcast Alley.

And also, by the way, Jiggy Jaguar returns to the airwaves Nov. 5. Terrific timing because that is Guy Fawks Day in Great Britain and the idea of burning a Jiggy dummy in effigy is appealing. We don't mean to question Jig's patriotism, but there are certain thematic similarities to this notorious figure and our hero, the Jigmeister. So check him out most of the same places you check us out.