Cotolo Chronicles

First, and most seriously, a moment’s silence for all Americans who died and continue to die in the name of freedom, no matter the politics involved.

Next, the June 2 program should be a dilly. Rock impresario Walter Stewart will be our guest and the conversation means a lot of name-dropping and some where-are-they-now bits.

And, of course, here comes June, the month that Baldaire called “one month entering summer” and the month of love. Not to mention the month that the resuscitation process was founded. Here are some days to look forward to in the month that, translated into Greek, means, “your soup is on fire.”

June 5 is Festival Of Popular Delusions Day
This was originally a German holiday that began in 1945, the year after D-Day. Before that turning point in the Nazi’s plan for world domination, the popular delusion was world domination.
June 10 is National Yo-Yo Day
Adrien Duncan is said to have created this day to sell his stupid toy that we all know only a few deranged people are actually able to use with any acumen.
June 14 is Pop Goes The Weasel Day
There has never been a satisfactory answer to why the monkey chased the weasel around the mulberry bush and eventually made him “pop.” Think tanks across the world discuss the annoying song and its metaphorical sides while getting plastered on good whiskey.
June 16 is National Hollerin' Contest Day
What is more entertaining than a hollerin’ contest? And on this day, they are legal in 40 states with the winners getting exciting prizes. Look for pairs of men dressed like the Smith brothers at all festivities. It’s a tradition.
June 18 is International Panic Day
Since order comes from chaos, this is one of the most important days of the year. So get ready to lose it in order to find it. Use many languages.
June 21 is Cuckoo Warning Day
You owe it to your family, friends, neighbors and work mates, in that order, so warn them of cuckoos who could, in many instances, ruin their health. Extra police are working today and Protestants are not allowed in bars.
June 25 is Log Cabin Day
Be a man, build one. Don’t be a sissy and just use the syrup.
June 29 is Camera Day
Get the picture? See how the day develops. Tell many negative jokes.

If you missed the live feed of the May 26 program, check the affiliates list and listen to a rebroadcast. Many thanks to Paul Williams for another great conversation. For getting the show as a podcast or to download it, check out our program's website.

Also, kudos to Richard Ripple for his terrific cartoon of our show’s host, now the featured graphic at our program’s website. Check out there, as well, how you can get a podcast feed.

Also, visit the Henry Morgan Ampcast page to get a podcast of the May 23 live internet concert, which by all evidence was a great success. Stick it in your iPod and enjoy. It’s free.

Have a great holiday weekend and share in your remembrance of heroes.

The inimitable Paul Williams, author, philosopher and the godfather or modern rock journalism, returns as a guest on our May 26 program.

Paul has a new book out, called Bob Dylan - The Genius of a Performing Artist, Volume 4. Believe me, if you believe no one else, that whether or not you care for Bob Dylan as an artist, performer, songwriter or whatever he might be called, you will enjoy and learn much about “performing artists” when you read this book.

Paul’s other works are equally and sometimes more provocative and enlightening. He has written books on practical philosophy and science fiction. He is the founder of the famous, influential Give Peace A Chance, from John Lennon’s storied past. Indeed, Paul is a living piece of pop legend and one of the kind that “they just don’t make no more.” So be with us at 9 p.m. EST for the live, network program.

Or listen to the rebroadcast on selected stations in the list below. Or pick up the podcast over the weekend.

What a great way to start a week—with a free on-line concert by a musical group featuring my alter-ego, along with John Amato, Larry Michelich and Kevin Proctor. Yes, of course I am talking about the May 23 event, Henry Morgan and The High Grass Boys Live at Stony Creek, available to everyone who can stream sound on a computer any where on God’s green Earth (and regardless of what ecologists tell you, this Earth still is very green).

What is normally Cool Noise Radio, a music program hosted by High Grass Boys’s (HGB) drummer Michelich on Ampcast, will be an hour-long set of live music from the band, starting at 9 p.m. EST. The set will be made up of mostly HGB tunes from their two CDs, one cover, by singer/songwriter Rachel Page, and a few new songs, one co-written by HGB son-in-residence, Jack Cotolo.

A splendid time awaits fans and new listeners to the musical world of HGBs. This concert is one of a series that the group will present for broadcast, rebroadcast and podcast. So keep yer ears open for announcements about all of it. HGB make a lot of noise while breaking new ground for independent performers.

*****
Thanks to everyone who met me at the Marriot Hotel over this past weekend. I don’t often get out in public like that, but if you people are going to continue to bring me presents and shower me with complements, then I may do more. Sure, that one apple that bounced off my neck was hard and it hurt, but most of the people were not so aggressive and hateful. I ‘preciate it.

What do you have to say for yourself? Good question, eh? Seems today everyone is saying what they feel they have to say. In fact, there are people saying things just for the sake of saying things. Though the world has always been filled with people saying things, the new technology has made it possible for every one to publish every thing they feel they should say.

But saying things publicly doesn’t mean any or many are listening. Writing things publicly doesn’t mean people are reading. Communications, though their means be expanded, could be coming to a dangerous fork in the road where the din of the saying makes anything impossible to hear.

Join us on the May 19 program to take some hard-to-swallow reality pills about the means and the meaningless in digital communications. Stop “saying” for a few hours and listen, because if you have a message you are trying to send, it may be more of a mess then anything else.

The Dressing Room Hour is at 8 p.m. at selected stations through Ampcast dot com. The network and podcast show begin at 9 p.m. EST. Check out the stations for live and rebroadcast schedules.

It is time, again, to do inventory on your methods, your madness and your means.

COTOLO CHRONICLES
9 p.m. EST Thursdays
http://www.Ampcast.com
http://www.seanradio.com
http://www.extremeradio.co.uk
http://www.rantradio.com
http://www.flashradio.cjb.net
http://york.onsrn.com/weekend
http://www.krushradio.com
http://www.podcast.net
http://www.indiemusicxchange.com
http://www.newtimeradio.com
http://www.indieartistradio.com
http://www.thewolfradio.com
http://www.crystalone.net
http://www.usradiox.com/
http://www.radio306.com
http://www.kjagradio.com
http://www.kubcradio.com
http://www.jiggyjaguar.com
http://www.shoutcast.com
http://www.podcastalley.com

It's National Friendship Week. We are all encouraged to show our friends how much we care. Remember, though, that this is a national event. If you have friends outside of your country, please wait for the international event to show your care. As for national friendship, here is my spin on something going around the ‘net about "what I have learned." How this has anything to do with friendship week beats me, but then again, there are crowds of folk out there who want to beat me.

I've learned....
that life is like toilet paper. It ends up cleaning a lot of crap.

I've learned....
that we should be glad we don't get everything we wish for, unless the wish involves personal luck, health and welfare. Then we should be elated.

I've learned....
that money doesn't buy class but it is usually responsible for your financial wealth.

I've learned....
that it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular. Like that day I found a hundred dollar bill under the foot of a blind guy selling pencils and since he didn’t have change I kept it and ate dinner at the Russian Tea Room.

I've learned...
that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved. Not counting White Supremacists or Neo-Nazis. They are total scum.

I've learned....
that to ignore the facts does not change the facts but that the facts are nowhere near as interesting or dramatic as that which we make up.

I've learned....
that when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you. If, that is, they survive your attack.

I've learned....
that time heals all wounds but time takes time and healing is a slow process and I would rather be in Bimini with a tall, cool drink and a babe half-dressed.

I've learned...
that the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am. However, I cannot find any.

I've learned....
that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile. Not counting White Supremacists or Neo-Nazis. They are total scum.

I've learned....
that no one is perfect for a few months until you fall in love with them.

I've learned....
that life is tough, but I'm tougher. Once, for instance, I chewed on lumber made of oak and walked upon broken glass while stuffing hot coals into my underwear. You try that.

I've learned....
that when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere and that all boating analogies suck.

I've learned....
that one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them and be nowhere near a tenderizing agent.

I've learned....
that I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it. Thus, I feel pretty rotten right about now so I am going to hit someone with a hammer.

I've learned....
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs when you watch them jump to their deaths.

I've learned…
that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is not requested.

Now, getting through today. Normally, on Friday the 13th, people become superstitious, even if they don’t put any stock into such things. The day has a stigma, a mystery, an enigma, a reputation, a legend … all the things that make people suspicious, no less superstitious. Lots of people ask me what the difference is between being suspicious and being superstitious and I say, “What the %&@* do I know?” Then, people ask me why I speak to them in typewriter symbols.

Still, it is one of the few Fridays during a year when the number 13, unlucky in its own legendary status, falls on a Friday. The combination is lethal, according to some. Others could care less. But heeding the warning and warning of the heeding is not a bad idea today. Not that today yearns for any good ideas; it doesn’t. But along comes another excuse for any of us to blame a sorrowful event upon. Friday the 13th is an excuse, then, for many of us to use as an excuse.

The best advice I can give any and all of you who would like to have the best advice, is to go through today as if no number or combination of day and month day number can affect you. In fact, defy it. Walk in traffic. Pinch a policeman on the behind. Find a ladder and stand under it while blowing raspberries. You will find out quickly that susperstition is bunk and suspicion is not warranted and that the sale of hockey masks does not increase on Friday the 13th. Some one is trying to scare you. It ain’t me. I love you. Have a great Saturday the 14th and Sunday the 15th. I will keep my fingers crossed that you do.

And ... I have been in touch with Walter Stewart, who could not show up as our guest on May 12 due to a personal emergency, and he will be on the show again, soon. So stay tuned to the blog for announcements about that appearance.

The May 12 program will feature Walter Stewart, a music industry insider for decades. He has produced records, played with rock stars and hung out with the best of ‘em. What does he feel about “the business” and the new digital community? Find out, at the peril of your ego.

We begin at 9 p.m. EST, live on a lot of stations and recorded for rebroadcast and podcasting.

Well, as spring paints the air, we the living have another week to plunder. One week at a time, I say, and so we look at this week on a number of levels.

Want a few good but highly fictionalized news stories? Check out The Spoof, especially some stories by yours truly.

Are you up to date on The Complete and Unabridged History of Japan? The archives are still there and volume two is heating up. This novel presents a new chapter every other day, weekends not included.

May 23 is the live internet concert from Henry Morgan and The High Grass Boys. That Monday night you get an entire hour’s worth of music as the boys (Larry Michelich, Kevin Proctor, John Amato and me) present a free show. It will debut at Ampcast dot com’s Cool Noise Radio program and then be available elsewhere. Free, free, free. If you want to pay money for something, check out the CD Baby page for Hunting.

Walter Stewart will be the guest on the show this Thursday. More about that as the week ensues, which weeks will do.

On May 5, Cinco de Mayo, British election day and The Day of the Action Number (5-5-5), Cotolo Chronicles welcomes Dusty Nathan, journalist, broadcaster, writer, thinker and hero of grandstand cowboys across America.

The main topic of the conversation will be the Kentucky Derby, a horse race rich in purse, history, legend and lore. It’s two guys talkin’ muffins and murder and you ought be there for entertainment, education and information—as well as news and insubordination twofold.

COTOLO CHRONICLES
live or rebroadcast (check station) on any of these links:
http://www.Ampcast.com
http://www.seanradio.com
http://www.extremeradio.co.uk
http://www.rantradio.com
http://www.flashradio.cjb.net
http://radio1.onsrn.com
http://www.krushradio.com
http://jeeperone.tripod.com
http://www.podcast.net
http://www.indiemusicxchange.com
http://www.newtimeradio.com
http://www.indieartistradio.com
http://www.thewolfradio.com
http://www.crystalone.net
http://www.usradiox.com
http://www.radio306.com
http://www.kjagradio.com
http://www.kubcradio.com
http://www.jiggyjaguar.com
http://www.shoutcast.com/

Another spring, another May. Big month continues with big celebrations, events and a few hangings.

May 3 is Doo Dah Day
Duh.

May 5 is Cotolo Chronicles Day
Dusty Nathan is our guest at 9 p.m. EST for a special Kentucky Derby program. You don’t have to know nuttin’ about horses to enjoy this show or May 7’s big race.

May 8 is No Socks Day
Boston and Chicago are the only cities that do not celebrate this day. All you other cities have fun and smell it up.

May 11 is Eat What You Want Day
This does not mean you can eat what you want when you want. Please check your local rules and practices about times to eat what you want.

May 16 is Biographer's Day
This day was created by Phil B. Stormcollar, born in 1898 in a small town near Havensport, Mississippi to Carl and Ellen Stormcollar. Etcetera.

May 18 is Visit Your Relatives Day
Bring cake.

May 23 is Morning Radio Wise Guy Day
Unfortunately, this day has been cancelled since the last radio wise guy died in April.

May 24 is International Jazz Day
Unlike North American Jazz Day and South African Jazz Day, today you can play any type of jazz without worrying about a fine.

May 30 is Hug Your Cat Day
Formerly Kick Your Cat Day, a bunch of animal activists took all the fun out of this day.

May 31 is What You Think Upon Grows Day
It is a controversial celebration when you consider it was created by the manufacturers of medicine that fights erectile disorder.