Cotolo Chronicles

It's National Friendship Week. We are all encouraged to show our friends how much we care. Remember, though, that this is a national event. If you have friends outside of your country, please wait for the international event to show your care. As for national friendship, here is my spin on something going around the ‘net about "what I have learned." How this has anything to do with friendship week beats me, but then again, there are crowds of folk out there who want to beat me.

I've learned....
that life is like toilet paper. It ends up cleaning a lot of crap.

I've learned....
that we should be glad we don't get everything we wish for, unless the wish involves personal luck, health and welfare. Then we should be elated.

I've learned....
that money doesn't buy class but it is usually responsible for your financial wealth.

I've learned....
that it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular. Like that day I found a hundred dollar bill under the foot of a blind guy selling pencils and since he didn’t have change I kept it and ate dinner at the Russian Tea Room.

I've learned...
that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved. Not counting White Supremacists or Neo-Nazis. They are total scum.

I've learned....
that to ignore the facts does not change the facts but that the facts are nowhere near as interesting or dramatic as that which we make up.

I've learned....
that when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you. If, that is, they survive your attack.

I've learned....
that time heals all wounds but time takes time and healing is a slow process and I would rather be in Bimini with a tall, cool drink and a babe half-dressed.

I've learned...
that the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am. However, I cannot find any.

I've learned....
that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile. Not counting White Supremacists or Neo-Nazis. They are total scum.

I've learned....
that no one is perfect for a few months until you fall in love with them.

I've learned....
that life is tough, but I'm tougher. Once, for instance, I chewed on lumber made of oak and walked upon broken glass while stuffing hot coals into my underwear. You try that.

I've learned....
that when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere and that all boating analogies suck.

I've learned....
that one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them and be nowhere near a tenderizing agent.

I've learned....
that I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it. Thus, I feel pretty rotten right about now so I am going to hit someone with a hammer.

I've learned....
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs when you watch them jump to their deaths.

I've learned…
that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is not requested.