Wednesday, May 17, 2006
I discovered that an "everything" bagel is missing something.
If you eat poppy seeds before taking a drug test you will test positive for heroine. So you may as well mainline the poppy seeds.
Life is a walk in the park--Jurassic Park.
If something is worth doing, it is worth doing quickly.
I wrote a song for my Buddhist girlfriend called Don't Sit Under The Bodhi Tree With Anyone Else But Me.
Do you think it is true that Glen Miller suffered from in-the-mood swings?
Why don't people like me, like me?
I went to renew my driver's license and all of the same people who were there the last time I renewed showed up.
I just realized that I am old enough to be my father.
Ordinary contraptions work best in the dark.
I feel sorry for the guy who invented WD-39.
Is it just me or are too many women in porn starting to look like Tipper Gore?
I gave up soap operas because I can no longer tell the difference between the young and the restless or the bold and the beautiful.