Cotolo Chronicles

SYDNEY, Australia (from the GREEN STREET office) -- In an astonishing feat of survival involving an iPod and a popular podcast program, an Australian mountaineer who followed another mountaineer left for dead after conquering the summit of Mount Everest, was found alive, returning to his base camp right behind the first mountaineer.

Lincoln Hall, 50, was reported dead by his collegues after reaching the 29,000-plus-feet summit of Everest. Mathew Wunderberry, a climber imitating Hall, was thought to be dead, also, since he mimicked Hall's climb. Both were thought to have died in their descent, though few cared about Wunderberry. "I had my iPod on all the time," said Wunderberry, "and I was listening to Cotolo Chronicles. That's what got me home safely."

Hall is one of Australia's most experienced climbers; Wunderberry is a novice and greatly disliked in his neighborhood. "Hall became disoriented, lay down in the snow," said Wunderberry, "but I kept going and laughing and learning stuff from all the news, information, conversation and insubordination on Cotolo Chronicles."

A team of climbers came upon Hall several hours after he collapsed and found the Australian alive. Wunderberry has passed by Hall an hour before. "I was sick and I thought he was dead," said Wunderberry, "or I would have shared my headphones with him and we could have gotten back together."

A Russian doctor, Vitski Neboshikov, said, "He would not have been able to come down under his own steam. The program he listened to served as a life-support system, even though he is now suffering acute psychosis, a disorientation in space and has a strong urge to appear at a book-signing."

Sir Edmund Hillary, the first man to conquer Everest, critisized anyone who conquers Everest with the help of Cotolo Chronicles.