Thursday, February 16, 2006


Where there's life, there's Cheney

I think Dick Cheney was right. Shoot first, ask questions later.

If they'd have taught me that in the Boy Scouts I would be a better man today. Of course, I wasn't in the Boy Scouts. If I was, however, and one of those Scout Masters tried to touch me in a place where I only touch myself, I would be more than proud to pepper him with pellets.

The same goes for Catholic priests. If I were an alter boy and you were a lady, would you marry me anyway? Would you have my baby?

These questions have haunted me for most of my adult life, even though I am not aware of when my adult life began. Some say it was at age 30, when I could not be trusted any longer. However, I doubt if I could ever have been trusted, which is another great reason why I would have acted like Dick Cheney if I was shooting birds.

And don't get me wrong, I like the idea of shooting birds. I make no apologies for the fact that I am jealous those critters can fly and though I don't want to have brain as small as a bird, I admire animals with wings. Most animals with wings can fly. But it has a price because humans with bigger brains shoot first and ask questions later.

By the way, is it just me or does anyone else feel that Dick Cheney could play an older Bob Hope in a movie of the great comedian's career?

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