Cotolo Chronicles

Recently, a high-powered advertising agency hired me to do one in a series of ads for American Express. You may have seen this series of ads running in magazines, but you will not see the one I did. It was canned. In fact, when the ad executive read my copy for the ad (below), she warned me that if I ever set foot in her office again she would show me out the window (her office is on the 34th floor). However, at the risk of lawsuits and swimsuits, I now publish the ad (sans my photo, which was the left-hand page of the two-page spread).

My name..................... Frank Cotolo
childhood ambition.....Internet radio/podcast host
fondest memory.........Cannot recall her name
soundtrack................. It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
retreat........................ 1950s'-style bomb shelter
wildest dream.............Baseball becomes illegal
proudest moment......Meeting Vince Edwards
biggest challenge....... To be or not to be
alarm clock................. Tinitus
perfect day................. Rain, heavy at times
first job....................... Nautical engineer
indulgence.................. Writing emails to Orson Bean
last purchase.............. African beads to stop evil spirits from staining my Lexus
favorite movie............The Incredible Shrinking Man
My life ....................... Is but a dream, sha-boom, sha-boom
My card..................... Is American Express