Cotolo Chronicles

The self-proclaimed Digital Slob will be the phone guest on the Feb. 9 edition of the network show (9 p.m. EST) from his headquarters in Hawaii. Curt Brandao, pronounced Kurt Brando, is the author, orchestrator and star of his own podcast which is a spinoff of his popular syndicated hard-copy column. Here is a short biography.

Curt Brandao was conceived on May 23, 1967, at approximately 2:30 p.m. Central Standard Time when an on-again, off-again relationship between his parents turned on-again right when his future 17-year-old sister left the house to, ironically, go buy herself feminine protection.

Not surprisingly, some nine months later, a baby with an inherent sense of comic timing was born. But an artist must have pain to create and Curt was no exception, as noted by this short poem he wrote in 1972:

Every time I have to pee,
Mom takes me through the door marked "she," not "he."
Going to the men's room would be nifty,
We ought to at least split it up, fifty-fifty.
Acting like a girl makes my ego sore,
I keep losing the battle, but I will win the war.

Curt's early stanzas, though not precisely iambic pentameter, would prove perfectly prophetic, as he now goes to the men's room almost all the time, as stipulated by a court order.

But rather than become a tortured soul who sits in the fetal position crying in a dark corner every day, Curt channels his creative energy into a weekly syndicated humor column/podcast, and, like other successful writers, limits that former activity to the weekends only. Curt writes Digital Slob, a weekly humorous technology column distributed by Universal Press Syndicate, and records his digitalslobpod podcast, available for download online at digitalslob.com, whenever his wife gives him permission.

Curt lives an otherwise uneventful life, except for every May 23, when he goes into a grocery store and requests a sheet cake with the words "Happy Conception Day" written in icing.