Tuesday, January 10, 2006

 

What gives


Last night I broke the DaVinci code, so I am no longer excited about seeing the movie version.

Sometimes I feel like Mark Twain. When he was told, "You will never amount to anything," he replied, "Well, I can always be a bad example to others."

Every great machine should come with a button that enables the operator to blow it up.

Old men are confused these days, mistaking DVDs for BVDs.

And all this time I thought the mountain range that spread beyond the Andes was the Amoses.

I have a new law firm. Some old guys from Detroit. Firm's called Holland, Dozier, Holland.

A wise old man once told me, "If you wanna feel like a success just surround yourself with people who are bigger failures than you are."

I was asked, "Do you support physician-assisted suicide?" I answered, "Yes, but I wouldn't want him to marry my daughter."

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