Friday, September 02, 2005
September is a grand month
September is a grand month, marking the final stretch for summer and the metaphor of life’s last quarter (or so, depending on your health and fortune). Is has, over the years, been celebrated as Self Improvement Month, Be Kind To Editors and Writers Month, International Square Dance Month, Cable TV Month, National Bed Check Month, National Chicken Month, National Courtesy Month, National Honey Month, National Mind Mapping Month, National Piano Month, National Rice Month, National Papaya Month, and Classical Music Month.
And, some particular days are celebrations within the celebration …
Sept. 5 is Be Late For Something Day
The pressure of everything running like clockwork is easily relieved as you are encouraged to do everything after it is scheduled to be done. For many of you this is already second-nature behavior, so carry on.
Sept. 6 is Fight Procrastination Day
Keep revving up and that punch will be even more powerful another day.
Sept. 8 is National Date Nut Bread Day and Pardon Day
Because so many date nut bread loaves were ruined by hiding saws inside of them when delivered to prisons, the penal industry and the baking industry joined to bring these two beloved holidays together. Now, no need to bake a loaf with a tool inside of it. Let the ex-con eat it when he or she gets home.
Sept.10 is Swap Ideas Day
Ok, then let’s make it All Blondes Love Me Day instead.
Sept. 13 is Defy Superstition Day
Walk under a ladder. In fact, do it while a black cat crosses your path. And step on the cracks in the sidewalk (your mom’s back won’t break).
Sept. 15 is Felt Hat Day
Ever feel a hat? Well if you did yesterday, talk about the experience today.
Sept.16 is Stay Away From Seattle Day and Collect Rocks Day
Both of these days date back to the eruption of Mount St. Helen and do not affect anyone in Kansas, since few people in the Beehive State really go to Seattle, anyway.
Sept. 20 is National Punch Day
Grease your knuckles and remember, you better be able to take what you dish out.
Sept. 21 is World Gratitude Day and International Banana Festival
Mostly, just be happy the world has bananas, for as the song lyrics go: “I don’t care what they say I won’t live in a world without bananas.”
Sept. 26 is National Good Neighbor Day and National Pancake Day
Have a person who lives nearby over and make him or her or them pancakes. Since this is the suggestion given to everyone, why not just wait until a neighbor invites you and avoid the mess and work.
Sept. 27 is Crush A Can Day
Originally a French holiday started by people who hated the Can-Can dance and protested it by placing female Can-Can dancers under anvils, few people pay attention to this day in its American form.
Sept. 28 is Ask A Stupid Question Day
What the hell does that mean?
Sept. 29 is Poisoned Blackberries Day
In the 1700s blackberries were the cause of more deaths than any other form of fruit from a vine or patch. Since then, tens, if not pairs of people take this day to hunt for blackberries that can kill someone instantly when consumed.
And, some particular days are celebrations within the celebration …
Sept. 5 is Be Late For Something Day
The pressure of everything running like clockwork is easily relieved as you are encouraged to do everything after it is scheduled to be done. For many of you this is already second-nature behavior, so carry on.
Sept. 6 is Fight Procrastination Day
Keep revving up and that punch will be even more powerful another day.
Sept. 8 is National Date Nut Bread Day and Pardon Day
Because so many date nut bread loaves were ruined by hiding saws inside of them when delivered to prisons, the penal industry and the baking industry joined to bring these two beloved holidays together. Now, no need to bake a loaf with a tool inside of it. Let the ex-con eat it when he or she gets home.
Sept.10 is Swap Ideas Day
Ok, then let’s make it All Blondes Love Me Day instead.
Sept. 13 is Defy Superstition Day
Walk under a ladder. In fact, do it while a black cat crosses your path. And step on the cracks in the sidewalk (your mom’s back won’t break).
Sept. 15 is Felt Hat Day
Ever feel a hat? Well if you did yesterday, talk about the experience today.
Sept.16 is Stay Away From Seattle Day and Collect Rocks Day
Both of these days date back to the eruption of Mount St. Helen and do not affect anyone in Kansas, since few people in the Beehive State really go to Seattle, anyway.
Sept. 20 is National Punch Day
Grease your knuckles and remember, you better be able to take what you dish out.
Sept. 21 is World Gratitude Day and International Banana Festival
Mostly, just be happy the world has bananas, for as the song lyrics go: “I don’t care what they say I won’t live in a world without bananas.”
Sept. 26 is National Good Neighbor Day and National Pancake Day
Have a person who lives nearby over and make him or her or them pancakes. Since this is the suggestion given to everyone, why not just wait until a neighbor invites you and avoid the mess and work.
Sept. 27 is Crush A Can Day
Originally a French holiday started by people who hated the Can-Can dance and protested it by placing female Can-Can dancers under anvils, few people pay attention to this day in its American form.
Sept. 28 is Ask A Stupid Question Day
What the hell does that mean?
Sept. 29 is Poisoned Blackberries Day
In the 1700s blackberries were the cause of more deaths than any other form of fruit from a vine or patch. Since then, tens, if not pairs of people take this day to hunt for blackberries that can kill someone instantly when consumed.
