Monday, September 19, 2005
Another day, another Euro million
We often talk on the show about e-mail scams and I always encourage people follow-through and have fun contacting the scammers. Here is another example of a response I made to a scam (the scam is below the response). You will get an email like this, no doubt. Please respond hilariously or simply curse at them so that they know you didn't fall off the bean truck.
Does my luck ever end? My god, this is the fifteenth national lottery I have won this year. I must have been struck with the Blarney Stone in my head! Oh Carol, my knees are dripping from excitement. If I total all I have won so far I might have enough to buy Utah. I was so excited when I first read your email (I have since read it twice) that I ate my pet turtle, shell and all.
Now I am writing to you, Claims Agent Dorey, to tell you that you will have to rent a ship to get me all that money here in the U.S., where I live and strive for the justice that you and your snively crew never dreamed could work. Yes, I have all the money now, won by me with my lucky numbers, 3,4,8,12 and the others. And those are just some of my lucky numbers. The last national lottery I won, I won with 2,4,6,8,10 and 12. But back to this prize, which I want sent to me pronto, or quicker even, so that I may bank it, spend it and invest it (I will make a fine chef's salad from a batch of it, too).
Just tell me what to do now. Your file department should have all my personal information, including the time I secretly ate monkey brains with some Oriental friends visiting the country. You should contact me at this email address as soon as you get this email. But before you reply, go have a small dinner and charge it to me. Yes, you may also have dessert, as long as it is not more than 4 Euros. Tell the waiter who I am and get his address. You may have sex with him if that is your persuasion, I won't tell.
Ok, I await to hear from you and get this process rolling. Maybe you can help me collect some of the other lottery prizes I won this year? I don't mind if you use your revolver to do that.
Frank
carol hunter wrote: [entire text sic]
THE NATIONAL LOTTERYAN CRANNCHUR NAISIUNTAAn Post National Lottery Company.www.lotto.ie
We are pleased to inform you of the result of The National Lottery Email Program has been released.Your Email address attached to ticket number 5-4-3-2-1-0 with serial number 2113-05 drew the lucky numbers 03 04 08 12 27 36 which consequently won the lottery in the 1st category.You have therefore been approved for a lump sum payout of 1,000,000.00 (One Million Euros) in cash credited to file EAASL/941OYI/02/STXN. This is from a total cash prize of 50 Million Euros shared amongst the first fifty (50) lucky winners in this category.All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from 25,000 names and email addresses from all continent of the world as part of our international promotions program which we conduct twice every year.
To begin your claim please contact your claims agent: Mr.Erick Doray Claims Agent Asian District Bangkok Thailand. Phone: +66-988-51-406 Email: claimsagentdoray1@walla.com
Your claims agent will assist you in the processing for the remittance of yourprize funds pending on your choice of payment. Note that all prize funds must be claimed not later than One month. After this date all funds will be returned to the LOTTERY TREASURY as unclaimed. In order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications,please endeavor to quote your Reference (TNL/776/05/EGS) and Batch numbers (02/01/0078) in every correspondence with your agent. Furthermore, should there be any change in your address, do inform your claims agent as soon as possible. Congratulations once again from all members of our staff and thanks for beingpart of our promotions program.
Yours faithfully,Mrs.Carol Hunter. Promotions Manager THE NATIONAL LOTTERY.
Does my luck ever end? My god, this is the fifteenth national lottery I have won this year. I must have been struck with the Blarney Stone in my head! Oh Carol, my knees are dripping from excitement. If I total all I have won so far I might have enough to buy Utah. I was so excited when I first read your email (I have since read it twice) that I ate my pet turtle, shell and all.
Now I am writing to you, Claims Agent Dorey, to tell you that you will have to rent a ship to get me all that money here in the U.S., where I live and strive for the justice that you and your snively crew never dreamed could work. Yes, I have all the money now, won by me with my lucky numbers, 3,4,8,12 and the others. And those are just some of my lucky numbers. The last national lottery I won, I won with 2,4,6,8,10 and 12. But back to this prize, which I want sent to me pronto, or quicker even, so that I may bank it, spend it and invest it (I will make a fine chef's salad from a batch of it, too).
Just tell me what to do now. Your file department should have all my personal information, including the time I secretly ate monkey brains with some Oriental friends visiting the country. You should contact me at this email address as soon as you get this email. But before you reply, go have a small dinner and charge it to me. Yes, you may also have dessert, as long as it is not more than 4 Euros. Tell the waiter who I am and get his address. You may have sex with him if that is your persuasion, I won't tell.
Ok, I await to hear from you and get this process rolling. Maybe you can help me collect some of the other lottery prizes I won this year? I don't mind if you use your revolver to do that.
Frank
carol hunter
THE NATIONAL LOTTERYAN CRANNCHUR NAISIUNTAAn Post National Lottery Company.www.lotto.ie
We are pleased to inform you of the result of The National Lottery Email Program has been released.Your Email address attached to ticket number 5-4-3-2-1-0 with serial number 2113-05 drew the lucky numbers 03 04 08 12 27 36 which consequently won the lottery in the 1st category.You have therefore been approved for a lump sum payout of 1,000,000.00 (One Million Euros) in cash credited to file EAASL/941OYI/02/STXN. This is from a total cash prize of 50 Million Euros shared amongst the first fifty (50) lucky winners in this category.All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from 25,000 names and email addresses from all continent of the world as part of our international promotions program which we conduct twice every year.
To begin your claim please contact your claims agent: Mr.Erick Doray Claims Agent Asian District Bangkok Thailand. Phone: +66-988-51-406 Email: claimsagentdoray1@walla.com
Your claims agent will assist you in the processing for the remittance of yourprize funds pending on your choice of payment. Note that all prize funds must be claimed not later than One month. After this date all funds will be returned to the LOTTERY TREASURY as unclaimed. In order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications,please endeavor to quote your Reference (TNL/776/05/EGS) and Batch numbers (02/01/0078) in every correspondence with your agent. Furthermore, should there be any change in your address, do inform your claims agent as soon as possible. Congratulations once again from all members of our staff and thanks for beingpart of our promotions program.
Yours faithfully,Mrs.Carol Hunter. Promotions Manager THE NATIONAL LOTTERY.
