Monday, May 30, 2005


Remembrance is not to forget

First, and most seriously, a moment’s silence for all Americans who died and continue to die in the name of freedom, no matter the politics involved.

Next, the June 2 program should be a dilly. Rock impresario Walter Stewart will be our guest and the conversation means a lot of name-dropping and some where-are-they-now bits.

And, of course, here comes June, the month that Baldaire called “one month entering summer” and the month of love. Not to mention the month that the resuscitation process was founded. Here are some days to look forward to in the month that, translated into Greek, means, “your soup is on fire.”

June 5 is Festival Of Popular Delusions Day
This was originally a German holiday that began in 1945, the year after D-Day. Before that turning point in the Nazi’s plan for world domination, the popular delusion was world domination.
June 10 is National Yo-Yo Day
Adrien Duncan is said to have created this day to sell his stupid toy that we all know only a few deranged people are actually able to use with any acumen.
June 14 is Pop Goes The Weasel Day
There has never been a satisfactory answer to why the monkey chased the weasel around the mulberry bush and eventually made him “pop.” Think tanks across the world discuss the annoying song and its metaphorical sides while getting plastered on good whiskey.
June 16 is National Hollerin' Contest Day
What is more entertaining than a hollerin’ contest? And on this day, they are legal in 40 states with the winners getting exciting prizes. Look for pairs of men dressed like the Smith brothers at all festivities. It’s a tradition.
June 18 is International Panic Day
Since order comes from chaos, this is one of the most important days of the year. So get ready to lose it in order to find it. Use many languages.
June 21 is Cuckoo Warning Day
You owe it to your family, friends, neighbors and work mates, in that order, so warn them of cuckoos who could, in many instances, ruin their health. Extra police are working today and Protestants are not allowed in bars.
June 25 is Log Cabin Day
Be a man, build one. Don’t be a sissy and just use the syrup.
June 29 is Camera Day
Get the picture? See how the day develops. Tell many negative jokes.

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