Monday, March 28, 2005
My foward pages
This week, I am getting pressured again to write my autobiography. An article in the New York Times magazine over the weekend brought the topic into the limelight once more. It seems that every Tom, Dick and Mary is writing a life-based book and literary agent Shawn McBonehip says the time is right for me to do one, also.
I insisted to Shawn that my life is really not that interesting a read, to which he said that few such books are interesting reads. “All you have to do is have a catch, a knack, a gimmick, a crumb of adventure compared to the normal shlep whose life is perfunctory,” said Shawn from his cell phone as he drove down the Henry Hudson Parkway.
“Well, I do have a few crumbs,” I said.
“So there, start writing,” he said.
“But to sustain a person’s attention I need to color up things,” I said.
“Well, we can’t wait for people to die, we have to use real names,” he said, “so when it comes to the details of incidents with famous people, just do what everyone else does.”
“What?”
“Lie.”
“You mean?”
“I mean tell it as you think you saw it. Hell, who remembers anything anyways? We just got to sell some books, so the juicier your memory, the better the read. Jesus, look at Jose Canseco. Fer gawd’s sake, you think he actually remembers the moment the needle went into Bonds? What about those apostle guys? Did they remember every last word Jesus said?”
I have written a lot of my personal experiences over the last few years in chapters at Indie Journal Daily. I am currently writing The Complete and Unabridged History of Japan at that site. McBonehip wants me to explore the rest of my life in the exciting style by which I have delivered thoughts and experiences over there. And, he says, I can make a lot of money and, at the least, $16.95. I am thinking about some things Shakespeare wrote about vanity.
I insisted to Shawn that my life is really not that interesting a read, to which he said that few such books are interesting reads. “All you have to do is have a catch, a knack, a gimmick, a crumb of adventure compared to the normal shlep whose life is perfunctory,” said Shawn from his cell phone as he drove down the Henry Hudson Parkway.
“Well, I do have a few crumbs,” I said.
“So there, start writing,” he said.
“But to sustain a person’s attention I need to color up things,” I said.
“Well, we can’t wait for people to die, we have to use real names,” he said, “so when it comes to the details of incidents with famous people, just do what everyone else does.”
“What?”
“Lie.”
“You mean?”
“I mean tell it as you think you saw it. Hell, who remembers anything anyways? We just got to sell some books, so the juicier your memory, the better the read. Jesus, look at Jose Canseco. Fer gawd’s sake, you think he actually remembers the moment the needle went into Bonds? What about those apostle guys? Did they remember every last word Jesus said?”
I have written a lot of my personal experiences over the last few years in chapters at Indie Journal Daily. I am currently writing The Complete and Unabridged History of Japan at that site. McBonehip wants me to explore the rest of my life in the exciting style by which I have delivered thoughts and experiences over there. And, he says, I can make a lot of money and, at the least, $16.95. I am thinking about some things Shakespeare wrote about vanity.
