Monday, December 20, 2004


The insipid audience numbers

I have been keeping a close watch on the traffic from this blog. Statistics are being captured, numbers are being crunched, demographics are being developed and most of all, apathy is growing. Look, no one really goes to personal blogs, that's why this one is devoted to the chronicles of our times, as seen through the eyes of me, the man whose name adorns the title of the web broadcasting program that is also the title of this blog.

After a week of study, we know a few things now. First, no man has ever climbed a major mountain without the use of special gloves. Next, two out of every three people who visit this blog are apt to develop an allergy. And our most complex question--If Johnny traveled five miles on a train and Lenore rode ten miles on her bike in the same direction, how many pounds of apples went more than fifty miles an hour north of the city?--has been answered.

Now, as far as this week goes, more information about the program will appear in this blog in the upcoming days. If our demographic changes and the numbers of viewers of this blog increase, we will be forced to shut down the entire operation. Still, we ensue in our promise that by next April we will have grown the country's first crop of winter corn.

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