Tuesday, November 30, 2004


You asked for it

Some questions posed to me via email, along with my answers to them.

Q: Isn’t your show based on the radio program that John Daley did in the ‘50s?
A: Not entirely. Daley’s program, if you recall more vividly, required the use of at least ten stuntmen. Nothing I do requires even one. Also, Daley spoke a lot about eating red meat while smoking Lucky Strikes and did so never once using a noun.

Q: Do you have a lisp?
A: Many people ask that, but I have no problem with the sounds that give one a lisp. Nor do I bleed through the nose, as most of them tend to do.

Q: Ever since you started The Liquid Water Society [LWS] my wife has become distant to me. In a rare moment of confession, she said to me that unless I speak in a redundant manner, she cannot love me like she used to love me. My use of the English language is better, true, but my wife has lost her desire to be intimate with me, no less using a Joe Palooka punching bag to simulate a threesome. What would you do?
A: Sir, your wife is using LWS as an excuse, in my opinion, for a love that was lost long ago. In fact, I didn’t want to mention this, but every Tuesday afternoon I see her with a well-dressed man lunching in a café not far from your home. I can only assume she sees him privately and gets bopped without the stressful addition of the Palooka doll. You should keep speaking well, but not of her.

Q: What about copper dual-damascene devices?
A: Briefly, they are composed of six or more levels of interconnect wiring. A dielectric diffusion barrier is deposited atop copper lines to prevent diffusion between metal levels and to act as a etch stop during via formation. However, achieving a good copper/barrier bond has always been difficult. Implementing strict process control for the barrier’s thickness alone can improve yield but is one of science’s great metrology challenges.

Q: In the early shows you stood up and walked around more than you do now. Any reason for that?
A: It was my doctor’s orders back then. However, when I learned the orders had nothing to do with my health and all to do with his being an ex-Nazi, I stopped listening to anything he said.

Q: Why isn’t your Blog generally interesting, like J-Walk’s popular pages?
A: Good question. First, I have no interest in presenting my readers with information they might or might not like. Second, to compete with J-Walk is stupid because what he does best no one can do as well. Third, I hate to wear baseball caps. Fourth, I know nothing about Excel. Fifth, I run the risk of J-Walk learning that I purposely shoot rabbits just for the hell of it. Sixth, no man is an island. Seventh, the sins of the family fall on the daughter. And eighth, if not last on a list of eight, at least, not being like him allows me to mention him in my Blog and have him mention me because of that and I get more readers for a day or two. Incidentally, J-Walk's fascinating Blog can be reached on the internet at http://www.j-walkblog.com/blog/.

Friday, November 26, 2004


Thanks for the memories

Splendid is one word for it and there are many more. But we won't show off with our mastery of the English language, we will just say thanks to our special Thanksgiving guest, The Monkess. It was a grand show and she was a great guest (grand and great are just two words for the kind of guest she is, but we won't show off with our mastery of the English language).

To everyone who tuned in--certainly one of our largest audiences since we began our show in 1965--thanks. Tons of thanks were shooting all over the place yesterday. Save some for tomorrow, I say. And bookmark Daily Zen at www.dailyzen.com and visit often. Remember that a little bit of zen helps make you a better Christian, Jew or sailboat captain.

Have a great holiday weekend.

Thursday, November 25, 2004


Where are they now?

They are here in the here and now and now is Nov. 25 and that means tonight is The Monkess on Chronicles starting at 9 p.m. EST (8 p.m. special gathering in my dressing room only at Ampcast) on Nov. 25. She will begin talking, live via telephone, around 9:32 p.m. So, when now becomes 9:32 p.m., there she will be.

Happy Thanksgiving, which means we hope you have a good day now that that day is here. All of this involves www.dailyzen.com where now is always, always is now and never the twain shall meet. As you know, even if you never studied zen, meeting twains can cause significant damage to your being, so beware. Be that as it may, jump on the bandwagon, gather your clichés and let’s listen to what The Monkess has to say live on the show tonight.

A new station comes to the network tonight. It is IMX at www.indiemusicxchange.com and it, too, has a “theater” where you can talk to people while listening to programming. Choose your weapon, get the beverage of your choice and give thanks we can all be together, or most assuredly, all hang seperately.

and 8 p.m. PST, Thursday

Wednesday, November 24, 2004


One is the zenliest number

One day.

The Monkess is poised to talk freely and thankfully on Chronicles starting at 9 p.m. EST on Nov. 25. She will begin talking, live via telephone, around 9:32 p.m.

During the day, however, feast on whatever makes you feel thankful. Whatever. Even if it is just celery and salt, feast and give thanks. Sure, there are those of you out there who have lost everything in the stock market or had your wife and children leave you or haven’t talked to your parents in ten years or have lost a kidney, gall bladder, leg, finger, arm or eye. What’s that matter now? Say screw them and all the fates that left you battered and beaten and give thanks.

One day.

Meanwhile, visit http://www.dailyzen.com/ and use the free zen-card service. Read today’s quote, which is about gentleness and patience, two things alien to me, for sure. Also, learn zen tips for practice. This is good stuff especially if you are a member of an organized religion that warns you of fiery underground places where you burn to a cinder and are tortured and banged by horn-tailed demons. Learn to meditate and relax. Shut down your mind. God only knows there is too much going on up there and none of it means much of anything. I know. Thousands of people have let me hear what is going on in their heads over the years and I have to tell them—shut up, what you think is worthless.

Eat, drink and be merry, but come to Chronicles tomorrow night, Nov. 25. This is high-class entertainment folks, though it hardly compares with the thrill of watching a pro basketball team turn on the public with fists and cruelty. Heck, nothing beats that.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004


And zen there were two

Two days until the next Chronicles and a visit from The Monkess of http://www.dailyzen.com/ . I am more excited about this than I became when the Vatican accidentally shot white smoke out of the chimney before the Pope died. In fact, the Pope wasn’t even sick at the time, though he had a sinus infection.

The Monkess buzz is already spreading. Not many people have heard The Monkess speak and most of them are wondering why she uses a capital T in the The part of her name. No less, what is a monkess? Is it just a feminine monk? Are there more than one? Is monki the plural, then?

And of course, there is zen, in upper-lower or all-lower case. Either way, you got yourself one heck of an idea there. It is no surprise that zen and the word “now” have only three letters. Think on that for a while and put the drier on “spin.” Zen is defined, for one, as the “school of Mahayana Buddhism asserting that enlightenment can come through meditation and intuition rather than faith.” And remember, Zen is also a street name for lysergic acid diethylamide (in the sky with diamonds).

Oh yeah, T-giving dinner should provide the traditional turkey or else you will be mocked by people—usually white people who are god-fearing and who have relatives that wear hoods and travel in groups through the night. Want to really shake up the white world? Have chicken. Or a few little hens. Or a duck. Or a goose. Or, better yet, roadkill. It don’t matter what you eat while you give thanks.

Monday, November 22, 2004


Closer to the giving of thanks; and remembrance of JFK's last day

Three days until T-giving and The Monkess on C-Chronicles, Nov. 25. Time sure flys when days go by, no matter how slowly.

No sooner than we were added to Talk Jockeys then the darn thing announced it is shutting down. We can clear a room, eh?

Thanks to Ian Clay, you can now Pod a Chronicles show. I dunno how this works, so until I do, go to http://www.parasme.com/ -- The Clayblog, and check out the fabulous new way to capture our recent programs. You probably know more about the Pod thing than I do.

Who are you, anyways? I mean aside from the few people I know who come here and are associated with my program? If you have the guts, write to me at fcotolo@ampcast.com and I will write back. What I will write back depends on what you write to me. Do not be afraid to lambast me. I won't get into a pissing war with you. I may even agree with your put down. Anyone writing to me and sending me their mailing address will also receive a gift.

Tomorrow we get closer to Thursday. Gather ye thanks, pilgrims.

By the way, today is the anniversary of the assassination of President Kennedy, or what some people deem "The End of American Politics" and others claim "The Beginning of the New Era of American Politics." Still others call it "The Day Marilyn Monroe Lost Her Most Famous Lover." And even others are want to call it "The Day the Best Shot Ever was Heard Around the World." There are lots of names for this day, but none have been made official, which is why you don't see a little note on calendars. Let's not get all teary, though, because it was way long ago and you don't see Oliver Stone crying about it.

The most asked question on this anniversary is not "Who killed JFK?". It is, "Where were you when you heard JFK was shot dead?" I asked 456 college students that question. Here are the results of that poll:

Not born yet, 100%

Astounding results and undisputed throughout history.

Sunday, November 21, 2004


Gather ye thanks, one and all

Countdown to Thanksgiving …

A lot of you are saying, “Hey, countdowns to holidays are only good for Christmas.” Wrong. T-giving, as I call it to be hip and contemporary, is a more important holiday than Christmas, so let’s give it the respect it deserves. And let's let everyone participate in T-giving, not just Christians, who for the most part, own Christmas.

“What?” say some who feel I am being unfair to the so-called celebration of Jesus’ birth. Look, when we give thanks for all we have, even if it is only a one-bedroom apartment in the bad side of town where every neighbor is either a crackhead or a whore or a criminal or a prostitute and all we have to eat is turkey roll and cold spam with a Vienna sausage side, then we are truly seeing the brighter side of life and the fates. It’s ok if you want to celebrate the birth of Jesus, but let’s not get into the frills of Christmas, which have nothing to do with Jesus being born and all to do with the Mighty Dollar (like the caps there?).

I don’t want to get political here (we used to use the term religious, but these days with Christians trying to take over the U.S. government, it is appropriate to say political). Anyways, look, coming up in a few days is T-giving and we will be sensationalizing on the motives of the day with a special guest, The Monkess, from Daily Zen dot com – http://www.dailyzen.com -- so let’s count down.

Let’s see, I am writing this on Sunday, so Sunday to Monday is one, Monday to Tuesday is two, Tuesday to Wednesday is three … all right then, four days until T-giving. So start lining up your blessings—or whatever you want to call them—and get ready to eat a lot, even if it has green edges on it, and be with us for The Monkess on Nov. 25.

Thursday, November 18, 2004


T-day is C-day

9 p.m. EST, Thursday
and 9 p.m. CT, Thursday
and 8 p.m. PST, Thursday

Nov. 18's program begins with our new "Hang Out In The Dressing Room" hour, at 8 p.m. EST. There, before we go "network" at 9 p.m., I spend an hour talking with anyone who wants to talk in the Ampcast theater (chat room to you vet net users). So check out http://hotline.ampcast.com between 8 and 9 p.m.

We go network (see above stations and pray they turn on the correct button at 9 p.m. to join us) at 9 p.m. and hurl at you the internet's finest blend of news, information, conversation and insubordiation. No guests tonight, but some big news on upcoming guests is expected.

Monday, November 15, 2004


The new board, the history continues and music of the self

Now, you thought that we were out of places on the 'net where you could go and write things and play with a community, right? You thought so, right? Wrong, Cisco, because thanks to one of our great Chronicles stations, SRN Radio1, there is now another board to post things on the 'net.
Click on this -- http://thevalley.onsrn.com -- Then choose your topic. Chronicles is one of the topics. So is Life and Music. But you can write about those things and many more at the Chronicles section.
One more place to go, bunkies, and one more landscape for the tractor of your mind. Hell, you got a lot stored up there, so find as many places as you can to dump the junk out. I am rummaging through those junk piles, so don't think all that crap just gets burned up and goes into the air.
Also, the history of Japan has a few new chapters up there, so get to http://ijdaily.blogspot.com and catch up. It's in volume two right now. Remember, if you wait for the novel or the movie, you not only have a long wait, you will probably have to shell out money. Get it while it is free.
Hey, check out the new tune at http://www.parasme.com ... you can play the darned thing right on the page. I suggest you look directly out a window, stare at something and listen to this ambient piece. You may be able to see through things and eventually wallow in your own being. Or you may have another experience, one so personal you must try to be on Jerry Springer's show. Whatever, give a listen. I am listening now, as I write, and I tell you, I swear my dead relatives are floating around me, sprinkling shards of plastic and pepper corns.

Friday, November 12, 2004


Pondering worldly thoughts for naught

Here are some worldly thoughts I am pondering going in to the weekend ...

I wish there were more old movies starring Ty Hardin.

What ever happened to rebels? Now they are all insurgents.

Arafat was buried very quickly.

Why doesn't Osama bin-Laden put out more video taped messages? It's a great tool he is thoroughly misusing.

I think John McCain will be the next President of the United States because he can appeal to red staters and blue staters and, ultimately, no one gives a rat's ass about John Edwards' mill-working dad.

I wonder how much money can Bill Gates lose in order to achieve poverty.

I am worrying a lot about all the things I could care less about.

A friend of mine is selling a bootleg DVD of Liza Minelli beating up her body guard. Should I buy it?

Thursday, November 11, 2004


We're going live again ...

9 p.m. EST, Thursday
and 8 p.m. PST, Thursday

Some things to think about for our next program ...
Why are telephone numbers, for the most part, seven digits, not counting area codes nationally or internationally?
Do you have a job that provides you with the kind of money you need to waste on some hobby?
If you have a blog, do you really think people are reading it?
What happened to all of the young people who were supposed to go out and vote? I know, and I will tell you what happened to them (some might be listening, though I doubt it).
Is Howard Dean really a duck?
If you could have me over to your house for dinner, what would you serve?
Do cell phones cause brain cancer or another form of cancer that spreads and becomes brain cancer?
If Ralph Nader had won a state in the election, what color would it have been?

All this and more. In fact this is just the tip of the proverbial iceburg. Were the iceburg not proverbial, we would be speculating at the peril of our lives. Worry not, get yourself a beverage and join me for the show.

Saturday, November 06, 2004


Songs, sense and announcements

What a week just passed. Filled with fun, music and no one in my immediate vicinity threw up. Hope you enjoyed Paul Dube and Ellen Lindsey on Chronicles last week. They were great. Ole Larry Splash Michelich was on the pots and pans during the show, which you can download at http://www.ampcast.com/chronicles

I had the pleasure to accompany Paul on guitar and vocals at two gigs locally. As usual he was well received and I was tolerated and neither of us broke any strings.

SRN Radio 1 ( http://radio1.onsrn.com/ ) is playing exclusive Common Sense Cotolo spots and we urge you to tune into the station and listen for them. SRN has gotten many phone calls since they began running the spots but only those calling collect commented about the special segment. This will become a regular feature for SRN Radio 1 as soon as my doctor allows me to use my digital recorder again. It seems that machines operated using binary math are causing me to lose function of my left nostril.

My Crop Circles Tour is being planned right now, so bookmark this blog for further information on that. Maybe I will come to your town and meet you or come to a town close to you and call you from there. And keep listening for a special announcement that will require your attention to absorb.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004


Hootin' an hollarin' down the H-trail

Thursday starting at 8 p.m. (EST) there is a hootin' and hollarin' on Cotolo Chronicles as the Zingo Zango man himself, the one, the only Paul Dube and his gal Pezz join the High Grass Boys in a live session of music and gabbin'.

Yes, jug-band music and tomfoolery are on the bill. Check out the Z at http://www.evor.com/zingo/ and tune in. And put on your recorders, this is free entertainment and fun you can share with your friends, enemies and old cell mates.

and 8 p.m. PST, Thursday

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